Tap class is getting harder each week. Week two had us all feeling good about ourselves. We managed to sort of remember the steps she taught us in week one. Then Miss Bonnie dropped a bomb called the Buffalo Shuffle. You have to be able to do the Buffalo Shuffle if you want to play the little elf in a Lucky Charms commercial. I’m thinking next week she’s going to have us leap and kick our heels at the end of the Buffalo Shuffle and sing, “They’re magically delicious!” The “Buff Shuff” is not for wimps. I have a feeling that elf is using cables.
The whole time I attempt it I’m wondering if this is the step where I fall on my ass. It’s touch and go. Or tap and fall. Miss Bonnie told me a secret to prevent me from slipping and falling on the very shiny linoleum floor, marred with scratches from eight-year old dancers who are way better than us. But only because they’re younger. I’m not going to share the tip with anyone else in the class. This is all about winning. I will only divulge that the secret to not falling does not involve switching tap shoes for crocs with thumbtacks in the bottom.
I need all the extra pointers I can get. Miss Bonnie is ramping it up each week. I was sore for two days after the second class. She’s messing with us. I’m certain of it. But I believe that by the end of the six or eight or ten weeks, (I couldn’t tell you what I signed up for, I’m just going to keep showing up at the studio every Tuesday night at 8pm until I show up and I’m the only one there), we are going to be as good as “Justin Timberhouse”. *put hands in peace signs and glide across your eyes, palm out, and say “We are the danceeeeeerrrs.”*
One day I might even post an above-the-waist photo of the danceeeers. But this is as far up as they’ll let me go. They’re playin’ hard to get. Worried I’m going to photoshop pink tutus on them and send it all over the interwebz. They think of the craziest thing!
Don’t think I wasn’t dreamily checking out a sweet little pink number when I bought my tap shoes.
I dream in blurry-edged ovals.
I shared the bench at the dance store with a four-year old. She was there with her father who looked like he was still in high school. I told her, “You’re four??? Wait until you see how good you’ll be when you’re 46!!” And I proceeded to dance in my new tap shoes like Pinocchio and made her cry. I guess some kids don’t like Pinocchio.
Given Urban Dictionary’s definition of Thexthy, “provoking or intending to provoke thexual interest or arouthol”, you can’t argue its applicability here.
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