I have been jonesin’ for a chocolate pudding pie ever since I ovulated I realized Valentine’s Day was coming. I went to the grocery store on VD Eve and got all the ingredients I thought it would take to make a pudding pie from scratch. Lists schmists.
I eyed the boxes of Jell-o pudding and the pre-made graham cracker crusts, but the multi-syllabic, non-pronounceable ingredients in instant pudding hurt my stomach. They would not live up to my fantasy. I was jonesin’ for homemade, flaky crust, creamy pudding and all natural whipped cream. I’ve never had pie as good as the pie I was imagining. But I was about to.
Once I had my ingredients, I went online and searched for a recipe. The first dozen or so used instant pudding. FAIL. But fortunately I found a recipe for pudding made from scratch. To make things even easier, it was a Martha Stewart video! I could SEE how to make the pudding by someone who clearly knows her desserts!!!
As soon as I brought Martha Stewart into my kitchen, however, I could feel her judging me. That first pie crust I made was not going to be good enough. I could hear her tsk tsking over my shoulder. I did not want to have to put up with “I told you so” when I took my first bite. It would ruin the rest of the pie-eating experience. So I dumped it and started over. Martha agreed that that was a wise decision. The second pie crust was perfect. A nice, even tan when I pulled it out of the oven. She took all the credit by making it sound like it was her idea when the camera man zoomed in on her.
Martha guilted me into tossing the first crust. Bitch, please!
I mixed all the ingredients for the filling and whisked them constantly with the burner on medium, just like she said. She was very proud of my obedience and my attention to detail. I was determined to leave no room for her criticism. And waste all that chocolate?
When the pie crust cooled, I poured in the filling and put it in the fridge to set overnight.
Valentine’s Day I woke up and remembered my true love: “THE PIE!”
This pie should be written about in the Bible. Jesus turned loaves of bread into fishes, water into wine. He could walk on water. But could he take a slice of pie and then another, and another, and make it look like he never touched it?? Could he?? COULD HE???
You can't even tell that I took three pieces of this pie. It is Holy Pie.
My pie skillz are nothing short of miraculous. They make my husband want to say “I Do” all over again. I think that’s what he meant when he said, “Let’s try that again.”
Happy Valentine's Day, Honey!! I made you a pie fit for a king!
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i would so stick my face in that pie and drink it and praise your name (and curse martha stewart in the same chocolatey breath). It’s five days old, and I’d still do it! Yum.Some people are so picky. This is why I’m gaining weight on Weight Watchers. Sigh. Nice effort, Amy. I salute you.
Will you be my Valentine?????
I’m with Mother Shaffer – for god’s sake there are people out there who went to pastry school and have years of baking experience behind them who will sell you an absolutely to-die-for pie, cake or any other confection your heart desires for a ridiculously low price. Why do people insist on trying to do it better themselves? If you needed heart surgery would you go online for instructions and go at it?
I know. You’re right. Heart surgery and pie-making are practically the same thing. What was I thinking!!!???
As someone who spent 2 years in Med School, and 10 years as a chef, I can tell you Heart Surgery is no where near as confusing as following Martha Stewart and her “pay no attention to the battallion of chefs behind the curtain” recipes
Hi, found you way of Jean Has Been Shopping. I made a chocholate and peanut butter pudding pie for Valentine’s Day myself, but my recipe was easy and full of instant pudding mix. Loving how yummy yours looked!
Awesome the pie looks better than mine …
The mysteries of cooking will forever remain a mystery…to me! Chocolate sauce over ice cream sounds good though.
Are you sure Jesus Never Made a Pie Like This?
http://needGod.com
Ah, Amy, at least you put forth the effort! Bravo! We got store bought cupcakes for Valentine’s Day dessert! Though I can’t bake to save my life, it usually doesn’t stop my from trying, especially with visions of a perfect Martha Stewart inspired treat. Always disappointed. Tsk, Tsk, I should know better, I know!!
Hubby eats it though, what can he do?
I’d eat it . . .
you are too funny!!!!
I believe we went to the same cooking school, yes?
Yes, but I couldn’t pay attention because you kept talking about how you’re finally able to eat cottage cheese again….20 years….lactose intolerant…..
And then you kept cracking me up with those curlers in your hair!
I had fun reading this. Hope you can save me a ladle too but I bet it is already gone.
This is why God invented bakeries (and why I don’t bake).
Your chocolate soup pie looks just like my pecan soup pie – we just ladled it over ice cream! I’ll bet it smelled good!
It did. It even tastes good. I wish I could save you a ladle. It’s going quick! Surprisingly.
When all else fails, Bob Evans has a pretty good one. ::snort::
Sorry friend.
I’ve ordered it. And devoured it. And paid for it later. It gives me a stomach ache. There’s something in it that has a lot of syllables.
Don’t know where you’re gonna check first, but…
Killer double-layered chocolate pie/torte
Crust (either use a 9″ store bought, or…)
Melt 1/2 cup of butter over low heat
Put 2 packages of Graham crackers in food proc and pulse until resembles bread crumbs.
Add 1/2 cup granulated sugar and while proc is running, drizzle in the melted butter a bit at a time until you can form a small ball with the crumbs. (i.e. so they sort of stick together)…
Press crumbs into a 9″ greased/floured springform or pie tin (springform works better)
1st layer of chocolate ganache (optional)
Ingredients:
1 cup (1/2 pint) heavy cream
1 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate
In small heavy saucepan over low heat, heat whipping cream until warm. Add chocolate; stir constantly (preferably with whisk) until chips are melted and mixture is smooth. DO NOT LET COME TO A BOIL!!!
Pour mixture into crust/pan and refrigerate
Take a break for about an hour, catch up on Facebook, do some reading, drive hubby and kids nuts..Whatever… hey you’re making this thing… they have to pay for it somehow!!!
about an hour later come back to kitchen for final step.
2nd Layer (Pie filling)
Ingredients:
)
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa
2 TBLSP Corn Starch
2 TBLSP Flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 3/4 cup milk
2 egg yolks slightly beaten (save whites to make yourself a nice little healthy omelette later… or a meringue… your pick!
2 TBLSP butter
1 tsp vanilla extract
In medium saucepan combine sugar, cocoa, cornstarch, flour, and salt; blend in milk and egg yolks.
Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly (again whisk is preferred), until mixture comes to a boil (YES BOIL THIS ONE!) Stir while it boils for 1 minute remove from heat; blend in butter and vanilla until the butter is melted and incorporated thoroughly.
pour on top of chilled ganache/crust combo and then press plastic wrap down directly on the surface of the filling (it’s a chemical/heat transferrence thing I used to teach, but just do it for now… I’ll explain it later if you give me enough time to dig up my old syllabi)
Put the whole kit and kaboodle BACK into the fridge to let it chill
go get hubby and kids to clean up the mess in the kitchen whilst you get a nice glass of wine and put your feet up.
If you bought more than a 1/2 pint of Heavy cream, you can go back in the kitchen, combine 1/2 cup of sugar with the remainder of the cream, a little (1 tsp) vanilla extract (or other flavouring.. Creme de Menthe works good here too… especially the green kind
)
and whip the shit outta it on high until the cream starts forming soft peaks.
pull the plastic off the top of the chocolate demon you’re creating and pour the whipped cream on top of that too!!!
if you’re using the springform, be careful as you release the sides… you should end up with 3 layers over the crust that decrease in color as you go up…
Eat it and go into a diabetic shock.
Martha’s recipe calls for twice the liquid and half the solids. Hmmmm. She sucks at math.
either that or her recipes also got shortened for good behaviour :p
And over pancakes!
On toast!
Let it keep multiplying! (unless you begin to see the face of the Virgen Mary in the crust. Then you are morally obligated to stop eating & post it on You Tube!)
Are you kidding? I’d eBay it! Get rich and forget this blog!
It looks like we have the same culinary skills. Your pie filling still looks delicious, though! Have you tried stirring it into coffee?
Genius, Schmutz! I’ll have to do that! And to think all I was going to have was chocolate soup with the crust as crackers.