Here is the letter I received from a potential suitor. Not MY potential suitor. But some other “lucky lady’s”. I try not to judge people for poor grammar. Oh, who am I kidding!? I do not. I judge them for grammar first, content second. This was so…oh, I don’t know. You decide.
Hello Angel
How r u doing ? Umm , without asking u that i guess ur doing fine ,I’m Jeff i seem to be new to this online thing.Wowowow , I’m sorry if my wowow scares u , But i feel like i’m looking at an angel right now , Lol . Ok , A question Could this be an Angel? Just a view on ur page i feel cool .. some people have nice eyes, some have nice smiles, and some have faces but guess what?.. U have all of them, if angels were to be taxed , i would be the highest taxpayer just for u , Oh my Goodness i still can’t take off my eyes from ur pic , Well i guess i have to leave now , I just hope and pray to get back a message from u . I know i only see ur pic i don’t really know what ur heart looks like but i would like to know thats if u would like to know more about me as well .. if you go thru my profile it would tell you more about me..You seem to be very interesting..I’m see king a rel relationship p..Are you?..Here is my email, jeff***** at yahoo,email me bcos i feel on email is better than on here bcos its a more easier and better way to communicate… or you can im me or add me on yahoo messenger as ( jeff*****) am usually online but you can always drop me a offline msg or an email…I would be waiting to hear from you as soon as possible..Take care and stay blessed Yours Sincerely
Jeff
It looks like I’m going to have to change my domain to AngelMusings. God, I hope that’s not already taken!!!
Dear Jeff,
If you use “a” instead of “an” before a noun that starts with a vowel, then how do I know you are not one of those guys who licks each fingertip individually while making that disgusting smacking sound when you’re eating chicken wings? Both bother me equally.
And “Oh my Goodness”? Really. Who says that?? Your wowowow scares me, sure. But not as much as your shorthand and that bit about the highest taxpayer? What am I? A gov-a-ment prostitute you have on the side with your gov-a-ment cheese?
You’re going to kill my google ads with all this talk. Now run along. Good luck with your online love search! But before you drop your hook in the water again, big boy, why don’t you clean up that grammar. Bcos u r not going to find a rel relationship p like that, Jeff. It’s more easier and a better way to communicate…
Sincerely,
Angel
Subscribe to the
RSS feed or 
Email Updates.Help us promote this article by bookmarking it to your favorite social network via an icon below:
Wowowow – I’m so jealous! All I get are spam emails asking me if I want some viagra!!!
Totally scary – or maybe I’m not using the correct vernacular
wo dude – frightnen!
I’m not great at imitation
Kristin
wowowow, dude – frightnen!
Amy, how did this guy find you? ARe you on line dating again? Were you ever? God, you are so lucky not having to.
He saw my pic on myspace. When I was reading the letter he saw that I was online and tried to IM with me but I bailed with ninja speed and then figured out how to set it so you can’t tell I’m online.
Just wait til he asks for money. Yikes!
What about his desire to see your heart? I pictured him cutting it out of your chest. Scary!
What about his desire to see your heart? I was picturing him cutting it out of your chest. Scary!
oopsy
Angel? Really?? Oh he’s soo a keeper. You could wrap him around your little finger and make him kneel at command. And then you could teach him to scrub the grout. I bet he’d even…uh….call you ANGEL after his cloroxed fingers were rubbed raw!
People are weird. Thank Goodness for that.
OMG, now that’s funny. I’ve gotten some strange emails, but that one wins hands down. I’ve never gotten the “wowowow” so now I’m totally jealous. I did have one guy who asked if I had a boat and if I could send him a pic of that, but that’s as close as I get. LOL
Maybe he was a pirate!
I say “Oh my goodness”. In my defense, I was raised by African missionaries. No, really, I was.
Hey Amy,
How old is Jeff? Sounds like the love letters written in school. That sure was a great laugh!!
Laya
I wondered that, too, Laya. Especially with: Just a view on ur page i feel cool .. some people have nice eyes, some have nice smiles, and some have faces but guess what?.. U have all of them,
Some people have faces? Really? But not all people, right? Bcos that wuld freeke me out!