We made it out of the house this morning without the smoke detectors going off. What was I thinking, jumping in the shower with a pan on the stove? A pan with a layer of scrambled eggs adhered to the bottom, that I was soaking on “low” to make the scraping and carving and chipping easier when I cleaned up.
When it was time to take the kids to school, I ran past the pan where it landed when I tossed it into the garage and slammed the door shut quickly on the column of smoke.
I don’t think that pan is going to make it. It is coated in the black layer of death. I never really liked that pan anyway, but I’ve put up with it all these years because it’s one of the things “Skye brought into the marriage”.
We have a few items around the house that we label as what either one of us “brought into the marriage”. They’re usually junky stuff that we can’t get rid of for sentimental reasons.
The yellow laundry basket is a keeper. That’s why it’s on its second layer of duct tape. Skye brought that into the marriage. The first night I slept with him I woke up and he was taking folded clothes from the yellow laundry basket and putting them in his drawer.
That wasn’t even one of the things on my long list of criteria in a mate. But it was the deal maker, for sure. That and getting knocked up.
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Not interested so much in the “brought into the marriage” stuff as I am entertained by the incident itself! I’ve done likewise a time or two. I even got new carpet out of the deal once! Multi-tasking – it will get you every time!
Glad you are all safe!
I love getting rid of stuff that either of us brought when we were married not into it.
“You can pick a new favorite shirt honey, because the old nasty ratty ugly one with holes is gone.”
“Gone?”
“You look so good in this black shirt. It makes me >hot< for you."
"This new black shirt is my favorite."
"Prrrrrrr"
I still can’t get rid of the blue tie-dye t-shirt he was wearing when I met him. I’m a holder.
I sort of have the opposite conviction when it comes to the mixing of stuff in my relationship.
When the boyfriend and I moved in together, suddenly there were doubles, of everything. A huge part of me didn’t want to part with a single thing that reminded me of ME. I wanted my individualness to stand out in the middle of this life we were building TOGETHER and I resented all the items he believed were sacred.
But then over time I realized what I was actually holding onto was an old identity and not so much the items themselves.
I find now that the things I love the most are the things we’re picking out together, such as our first Christmas decorations, or when we replaced my old table for a new dining room table we picked out together. The old table was MINE, it had been picked out with another home in mind, with another roommates input and gave Adam no ties to it at all. Now when I look at our new table, something we picked out together and both equally love, it feels more like a memory marker. Something we’ll look back on and go, “Remember when we bought this table? How scared we were to eat on it…”
Wow. Great post. Look how lost I just got in thinking about my attachments to things in my home and how they relate to my relationship.
You tricky lady you!
When I went through my divorce, it was fairly much “Take anything but the car (since I needed it for work)”.. Obvious military and international stuff was mine, but I ended up giving her more than she asked (lawn mower, tent, BBQ)… hey those items can be replaced, and usually a better model! (no not talking about the ex), I even helped the guys her Dad sent over to pick it up load and offload it at her parents!
(Hmmm does that mean something???)
It means you’re very good at letting go and starting over. You have a great ability to reinvent yourself.
Regarding the stuff that people bring into marriage: My wife and I had a simple arrangement. When we got married (over 31 years ago), she said: “All the stuff that’s mine is mine. All the stuff that’s yours — that’s mine, too.” It made getting rid of a lot of stuff a whole lot easier.