Garbage day is Tuesday. I missed putting out the recycling for the second week in a row. The bins are overflowing. We can’t go another week like this. At the most, one day. I could have run out the door when I looked out the window upon hearing the truck, and saw that they were picking up the recycling, not the trash. But I was in my pajamas still. Not that that has stopped me in the past from jumping out of my minivan and conducting traffic in front of my son’s elementary school when impatient drivers weren’t playing “fairsies” at the four-way stop. God, that bugs me, the way people whistling with two fingers in close range bugs me.
The white elephant on wheels wasn’t moving that quickly up the street. I could have run out there to flag down the guys in fluorescent vests who were hanging off the back. My pajamas could pass as sweat pants. Don’t judge me. That’s what cougars wear to bed when it’s cold out. But instead, I finished my coffee. Later, I said to myself, while imagining chasing down the recycling truck through the streets of Upper Wonderful. I’ll finish this coffee, put on some jeans and fill up the trunk with the bins. If I don’t track them down today, there’s always tomorrow a few blocks over. Don’t think I haven’t done this before.
Subscribe to the
RSS feed or 
Email Updates.Help us promote this article by bookmarking it to your favorite social network via an icon below:
Wait… so I’m supposed to take the low-cut leopard unitard OFF? Whoops.
Oh I have so chased the garbage truck. And I have so not chased the garbage truck and watched it go slowly by and even stop at my neighbors while my bins overflowed. I have been out MANY times in my jammies. I do not yet own a leopard skin unitard, but I just got a pair of shoes with a patent leather leopard print on them and my husband is sure that off the shoulder leopard tops are not far behind. Should I warn him that after that it is only the unitard?
Warn him that you’re two cougar shopping sprees away from the unitard.
Amy, whenever the subject of Cougars & leopard skin unitards are there, you can be sure that I am not far behind!
It’s always fun to watch people chase garbage trucks.
I expect you to chase down the recycling truck next week and once you catch it, take off your worn old PJ’s and throw them in the truck along with the other recyclables. (only if at least one of the pick-up people is an attractive female… does that ever happen? why don’t women pick up garbage? even recyclable?!!)
I hate when that happens (all of it)!
I’ll bet they would have stopped & helped you carry the bins back to the house….especially in your leopard skin unitard!
You would notice a post with this title.
that’s true. the recycling guy might come to your door to empty the bins for you.
as long as you don’t just throw the recycling in the trash like some folks i know who miss collection day i don’t care what you wear…
okay, that’s not true…
i’d prolly stop for the leopard leotard…
; )
I was always extremely jealous of people who could whistle that 2 fingered whistle.
It’s possible I might have a smidgeon of jealousy that I have not gotten in touch with. It’s tucked away deep in my subconscious, next to my inner biotch.
But what if you were to chase the garbage truck IN your leopard skin unitard? That might put a different spin on the whole thing for everyone!
You know??