Let's Be Honest

I have a sinking feeling this spiffy Why Patients Don’t Heal chart is going to wind up in the wrong hands. While I consider this to be state-of-the-art patient/doctor relationship knowledge, it cannot make its way to medical books (not without my permission and a sizable check).

One day my doctor will be shadowed by a bushy-tailed, optimistic medical student who will pull this out of her notebook during her first patient assessment. She’ll share the chart with my doc who will see the pie chart reference. She’ll think, “Wait a minute….I have a patient who brings in pie charts! Very pretty pie charts! She’s great with color but whooo! Nutters, that one!!”

She’ll find out I’m not admitting everything to her. Every doctor assumes you’re not admitting everything. But to see it in its gibbous moon phase? That hurts. Doctors have feelings, too. Add insult to injury, when she discovers my scant crescent moon compliance, it’s over between us. All this time I’ve been assuring her full moon compliance. Full moon! If this chart makes it into her hands, I’ll be released from her practice, not before she labels me “a crescent mooner.” It’s the kiss of death.

I’ll have my medical records transferred over to a new office. They’ll read her last note. When I go in to talk to the new doctor and he reads that it’ll be a lunar eclipse exam. Hello! Lights aren’t on. Nobody’s home. I’m talking but he can’t hear me. Eyes up here. You don’t need to read that chart just this minute! The whole exam he’s just going to think “crescent moon compliance….crescent moon compliance. How can I do my job?”

I’m going to have to work doubly hard to make him think I’ve changed. What if I can’t pull it off? Then where will I be? The dark side of the moon. Wait…how is that any different from where I am now?

If you think the waning is bad. Wait til you see the waxing.

You've enjoyed reading this post. What's next?

Subscribe to the RSS feed or Email Updates.
Help us promote this article by bookmarking it to your favorite social network via an icon below:

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
•