While We’re on the Subject of Benign Words We’re Not Allowed to Say

The boys and I were on our way to school this morning, and…wait, wait, wait. First, I have to say, that our rides to school are my favorite time of day. We are all ON. We know we only have a short amount of time to let unfiltered one-liners rip before we part for the day. Inappropriate humor is the glue that holds our family together. Some people take multi-vitamins for their health. We pop a laughter lozenge for the savory after-taste.

Okay, so we’re in the minivan that I have not cleaned out in a week, judging by the number of abandoned coffee cups taking up all the drink holder spots in the console. Maggie knocked one over when she jumped into the back to sit on one of the boys’ laps.

Vincent yelled, “Oh, no! One of the coffee cups fell!”

James yelled, “Pick it up before it goes all over!”

Vincent picks it up and starts reading the label. The cardboard sleeve wrapped around the coffee cup to make it bearable to hold without burning your hand is pink. “Amy’s blend?” he asks. “You bought coffee named after yourself?”

“Amy is one of the founders of Caribou Coffee. The coffees in this blend were her favorites. She died of breast cancer. When you buy her blend you’re donating money to breast cancer research.”

“Oh…why is it pink?” Vincent asks, referring to the pink ribbon he sees everywhere and the pink cardboard sleeve around the cup.

My answer, “Cuz boobs are pink!” pops out of my mouth before my impulse control filter could slam into place.

My 13-year old and I break out laughing through the last intersection on the way to school, through the parking lot, while he’s getting out of the car and as he’s walking up the sidewalk to go into school. We can’t stop laughing. He looks back and I’m still watching him. We’re both laughing. We can’t make it stop.

Vincent is not laughing. He hasn’t hit adolescence yet where the word boob makes you giggle. He says, “That was seriously perverted. I’m only nine?”

“When you’re in middle school that will be funny.” I said, between giggles and instead of apologizing.

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