AmyMusings

I’m mixing it up today with an “Are You Like Me?” poll. Play along…

1. When you’re getting your second cup of coffee in the morning do you:

1. use the same mug
2. grab a clean mug out of the dishwasher
3. grab a clean mug out of the cabinet, put the sugar in, then the coffee, then the milk, stir, and pretend you’re starting the day fresh and everything that happened before this mug never happened. It’s all a big do-over.

2. When the phone rings and it’s an 800 number do you:

1. let the machine get it
2. answer politely and tell them you’re on the “Do Not Call” list
3. find out it’s the Fraternal Order of the Police and say, “Sure. You can’t have too many of those stickers on a stolen van with $10,000 marijauna in the back when you’re crossing the border.”

3. When your son’s kindergarten teacher tells you at pick-up the first week of school that your son swore while struggling with a craft, do you:

1. blush, apologize and assure her there will be consequences when he gets home
2. deny it and say, “not my little angel”
3. cross your arms and say, “I don’t know where he learned that!” Then eyeball all the doe-eyed children in the classroom, looking for the bad influence.

4. When you’re out walking your dog without a leash and a neighbor gives you shit about it, do you:

1. pretend it’s not your dog
2. pretend she “got away”
3. talk with your hands in a made up language, with the only decipherable words being “sorry, English no” so he can’t get any satisfaction in telling you off from across the street, like he did last time he caught you walking your dog without a leash.

5. When someone is speeding down your 25 mph road, do you:

1. buy one of those plastic signs at K-Mart that says, “keep our children safe”
2. gesticulate in a manner that looks like you’re dribbling an invisible basket ball, and mouth the words: “slow down”
3. hang a large sign on the tree closest to the road that says “Speeders Beware: I’ve thought about it. If you hit my kid I’ll kill you.”

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